Anxiety :: Day 220

I've expressed these feelings to a few close friends today, and of course, to Jeremy. But I can't help but to say I feel like I'm going to lose it. I want him NOW! I'm just so ready. The thought of driving to the airport in a few weeks has me bouncing around in anticipation. I know I need to cool it, keep busy, and let time keep going by like it has been. We're almost there! 

I did want to thank you ladies for being there for me, and most importantly for understanding EXACTLY how I feel! And Jeremy, for being patient and listening to every bit of it. I know you feel the same way, if not more. I love you! 

I had dinner with a friend of ours tonight to talk wedding stuff and hang out. Toward the end, I kind of spilled how I've been feeling. I really can't let it go, I'm JUST.SO.ANXIOUS! I was disappointed by her response (is that even fair?). But I was. All she managed to say was, "I can't even imagine him being gone (her husband). Even though he drives me crazy. hahaa. But that's how I felt about our wedding." 

Well, as excited as I am to marry Jeremy, I just want to SEE him! That isn't even comparable to me! She has no experience with military or distance, none of the hard stuff. Is it mean of me to not care to be around people like that anymore? I know everyone has their own kind of hardships. I'm not only talking about distance or military, but this particular couple has only really dealt with his sister who didn't care for her before their wedding. I just can't relate. I have nothing to say. However, I really am thankful she hasn't had to be away from her husband or fight any battles. I don't wish it on anyone. Yet... it's a really defining thing for two people. It changes you, it makes, breaks, and molds you. The bond shared after facing challenges together is something untouchable to those who haven't.

I won't stop being their friend. I won't make her suffer for my feelings of animosity because my experiences are greater and harder. It's just a little of bit of rolling through the motions on this one because I'm in the heat of the moment, I couldn't help my thoughts. They are good friends, and I'm thankful for them (sorry for sounding like such a jerk).

Anyway, I hadn't realized until it was too late that this was the only picture I took today. Kate and I were making lunch before going to pick Alyx up from school, and she was standing on her tip toes to see the food cooking. It was just so darn cute! There isn't anywhere she can't get to anymore. Whether she carries the stool around to reach the kitchen counters, climbs onto the sofa or coffee table, she gets where she wants to go. Children are so amazing. It's an unbelievable blessing to watch them grow.

I just noticed that her shadow makes a heart shape :).